Over the last month, I have been cleaning and organizing like a mad woman. I think it’s the unseasonably beautiful weather that has brought on this urge.
I have learned that when the motivation to do something arises, I get right to it. The urge can leave as quickly as it comes, especially for over-scheduled and highly-distracted momma like me. When the motivation is gone, it’s gone. And I may have missed a critical window because there’s always a To-Do list swamp around the corner.
This probably sounds familiar to you. Moms are crazy busy, so it helps to strike when the iron’s hot, so to speak. And that’s what I did. I felt motivated to clean–so I dove in head first. I started upstairs in the deep corners. I pulled everything out of cabinets, drawers and closets. I emptied Rubbermaids, baskets and totes. I scrubbed and disinfected surfaces.
Then I started going through all of the STUFF. One by one, I looked at the accumulated items with a value question in mind.
Is this thing really worth the space it takes up in my life?
It turns out that my house, which generally appears tidy, was harboring A LOT of junk. And that junk was detracting from the overall function, organization and spirit.
During this process, I considered how blessed I am to be able to clean. What would it be like if there was no Good Will or D.I.? What would it be like if no one came around to pick up the recycling or the garbage? I cannot imagine my life with thirty-seven years of accumulated junk! I am so grateful that every single week someone comes to take away my garbage. And all I have to do is pay my city bill, discern what is junk, put it in the can, and drag the can to the curb.
As I considered the magnitude of this blessing, I felt a beautiful parallel.
Each day of my life, I make spiritual junk. I give in to my weaknesses. I have unkind thoughts or impure intentions. I make bad choices. All of which create very real garbage. And stuff, physical or otherwise, has to go somewhere. It makes sense that since I created it, I should deal with it. ALL OF IT! My heartache over a single mistake can disable me sometimes for days at a time. How bleak to think of my soul clogged with thirty-seven years of spiritually suffocating junk. The thought takes my breath away.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I have a friend who can and will haul off my junk. He has already paid the price to do so. That friend, of course, is Jesus Christ. And every time I sincerely repent, he takes from me the junk I bring to him.
But he cannot take away that which I am unwilling to give. It is entirely possible to repent of some sins, while leaving others stuffed in a junk drawer or unmatched stocking basket. It is up to me to clean into the corners of my heart. To forgive and forget. To change destructive thought processes. To give away junk that isn’t worth the space it occupies.
I want to let go. Of it. All. Regularly. Gracefully.